I never win anything.  I’ve been lucky in the game of life, but never lucky in games of chance.  I think the only thing I ever won was a gift certificate for a haircut at a bingo game with my grandparents in Florida when I was a kid.  Surely I would not be the bone marrow needle in the haystack.  Yet, 15 months later, on December 16, 2005, the phone rang.  Neither the name nor the company of the person on the other end of the line sounded familiar and I was positive the conversation was going to lead to something along the lines of “Can we count on you for a contribution?”  That turned out not to be the case.  A lovely woman 900 miles away told me that I had been identified as a possible bone marrow match.  I wasn’t a match for Amy, but for some other desperate soul in need of a transplant.  She told me that by the time this patient’s name is on the list of those searching for a match, all other possibilities have been exhausted.  My marrow was going to be this person’s last chance.

I was told that if I wanted to move forward I would need to have a full blood workup and physical to determine whether I was indeed a perfect match for this patient.  I couldn’t say yes quickly enough.  I was only told the patient’s age, gender and disease.  For 43 years, I think I‘ve been a pretty good husband, father, son and friend, but I don’t think I’ve ever done anything truly significant on a humanitarian level and this was my opportunity to heed the call to serve.

It took six weeks for doctors to evaluate my tissue type to determine whether a transplant would be possible.  My Mom, a 30 year cancer survivor, has told me on many occasions that the worst part of being ill is the helplessness that engulfs you as you wait for either a miracle or for the other shoe to drop.  As each week ran into the next, I worried that “my” patient might be losing his hope and resolve.

During the course of the six week waiting period, I had the opportunity on Shabbat to hear child psychologist Dr. Sol Gordon speak at TBO.  He talked about the frustration he had experienced early in his career because he felt that he wasn’t saving the world as he had naively hoped to do.  As he grew older and wiser, he found a quote in the Talmud that lead to his professional awakening: “He who saves one life, it is as if he had saved the entire world.”  That moment became an epiphany for me.  The next day, I got the call that I was indeed compatible with the patient and that the transplant was a go.

Gift of Life not only searches tirelessly for donors for patients, they just as tirelessly act as a passionate advocate for the donors throughout the transplant process. They could not have been more professional and caring.  Ironically, Gift of Life’s motto is the same line from the Talmud that I had heard from Dr. Gordon. 

For five days leading up to the transplant, I received shots of a drug called filgrastim, which causes the bone marrow to increase the production of stem cells and release them into the bloodstream.  The side effects included some minor aching, but as I tossed and turned at night, I realized it was completely insignificant compared to what cancer patients go through every day.  While my white cell counts were increasing dramatically, the patient was experiencing the exact opposite.  Doctors on his end were giving him strong doses of chemotherapy to wipe all of the cancerous blood from his system. 

On April 10, 2006, I arrived at Georgetown Hospital in Washington to donate my peripheral blood stem cells.  A needle was stuck into one of my arms to collect blood that was then filtered by an apheresis machine that extracted the stem cells.  My blood was returned to me through a needle in my other arm.  The procedure took six hours and when it was done, I had given enough stem cells to fill a small bag.  As I was unhooked from the machine, the cells were given to a courier who placed them in a cooler and headed for the airport.  It is my understanding that the cells were given to the patient 12 hours later.  By the time the procedure was over, he had taken on my blood type as well as characteristics associated with my DNA such as allergies and a terrible jump-shot. 

I have been told that a successful bone marrow transplant doesn’t simply put a patient in remission and buy them a few months; it completely cures the disease.  Many friends and family have called my participation heroic, but I strongly beg to differ.  My body and my blood were simply a conduit to a greater mission, a greater cause.  The real heroes are the doctors and researchers who push and push to beat these hideous diseases.  They are the ones who are intelligent enough to figure out that something in my blood could save the life of someone I’ve never even met.  The real heroes are people like the Udells who think of others and offer their time, effort, and money to get more people on the donor registry.  The real heroes are the employees at Gift of Life who make these life-saving matches every day.  Finally, the real heroes are the patients who play the hand that none of us want dealt to us with determination, courage and resiliency.

Amy’s family has initiated many donor recruitment drives all over the country.  Amy’s match has not been found yet, but through their efforts, eleven matches have been made for other patients, including mine.  I believe that mitzvahs and miracles lead to other mitzvahs and miracles, and I have two hopes for the future:  I hope my patient’s body will accept my blood stem cells, and that he will live happily for many years to come.  And I hope that the karma wheel will spin that much closer to young Amy, and finding her match will be that much nearer.

I have learned that luck and fate extend well beyond a gift certificate won at a bingo game.  We live busy lives and over-extend ourselves every day.  On that beautiful fall afternoon, it would have been easy for me to walk right past the bone marrow registration drive.  But because I didn’t, I’ve learned to take nothing for granted.       

I am writing to tell you about my wonderful experience as a Peripheral Blood Stem Cell donor. When I was first contacted back in November that the Gift of Life had identified me as a potential match for a patient needing a transplant, I was shocked. Seven years had passed since I had gone for a blood test as a possible donor for the Friends of Jay, and over time had completely forgotten about it. Once reality set in and a couple of hours of discussion, the first step was initiated. There was never doubt in my mind that I would do it. I feel very honoured to be able to help someone in this way. I, too, have needed a helping hand in my life and I was fortunate to get it.

I want to say how very lucky the Gift of Life is to have Elizabeth Schy R.N. as part of the staff. Her warmth and concern for my comfort during this whole procedure could not be surpassed. I have met and dealt with many people in my life both on a professional and personal level and I must tell you that Elizabeth has the perfect traits of combining these wonderful qualities into one.

If needed, I would do this again and if you ever have a potential donor that would like to talk to someone about the procedure please do not hesitate to have them contact me.

A Donor's Commitment
By Beth Bierman-Kepets

When I found out that I was a match for a one year old girl who needed a bone marrow transplant, I knew in my heart that I was going to be part of the process to save her life. However, a million other thoughts also raced through my mind. I had just given birth to my daughter, Keira and was nursing full time. I also had my four year old son Gavri to think about. Although the bone marrow collection procedure is completely safe, I would possibly have to go under general anesthesia, which could cause complications for me. Who would then be there for my children? If the other method of collection (peripheral blood stem cell apheresis) was used, then I might have to give up nursing for up to two weeks. How would I wean Keira or know she would take to a bottle?

I spoke with friends and family. Most of them said "It's a mitzvah, you have to do this, and it's the right thing to do." It was easy to say, but no one could know the thoughts or feelings I had inside. They were not experiencing all the emotions racing through me. Although I appreciated the support they showed, I knew I had to make this decision on my own. I already knew in my heart what I was going to do. I just needed to find a way to confirm what I felt in my heart. At this point I said to myself (hoping G-d was listening) "If only I had a complete stranger to talk to, then I might get a truly objective opinion". But, I knew I couldn't just walk up to anyone on the street and convey my feelings.

Two days after I received the call from the Gift of Life, I went to Johnson Avenue with my children to shop for Shabbat. On the corner of Johnson & 235th street, I saw a man and a woman sitting in lawn chairs. Between them was a billboard that read, "Talk to us". This was quite strange. I had never seen them before. I walked over to them and asked, "Talk to you about what?" They responded "anything". The man said "How is your day going". I responded "Do you really want to know? Why are you doing this? Is this for a psychology course?" They responded "we are just doing it for our own personal selves".

So I told them the situation. With their mouths agape the man asked, "How did they find you as a match?" I said, "I joined the registry during a drive to find a match for a friend and community member, Barry Mishkin". The woman looked at me and said, "I understand your anguish about the possibility of not nursing your child, but it seems to me your decision was made the day you joined the registry. Whether you were called upon the next day or ten years later, you made that commitment by signing up." She was right. My decision and commitment had already been made and though my life had changed dramatically since I joined Gift of Life's registry, I knew I was strong enough to work it all out. I thanked them and walked away. When I came out of the supermarket, I wanted to go back to talk to them some more. But they were gone, without a trace. It as if they had vanished into thin air. I truly believe that G-d heard my inner turmoil and answered my prayers by providing a stranger to talk to.

Because of those kind strangers, I donated bone marrow for the baby girl. I now pray for her full recovery and look forward to the day when I can meet the child whose life I saved.

Dr. Babak Sarani

I heard about the Gift of Life bone marrow drive at the Hillel house at George Washington University in March 2001 through a friend. The strange thing is, neither of us are Jewish. My friend wanted to donate a sample and asked if I wanted to come along. Once I got there, I figured I would join the Registry also, never thinking that I might actually match a patient! I just felt that I could not walk away from something so important without even trying to see if I matched with someone. I was astounded when I got a phone call that I was a match (and my friend still has not!). I was very excited, but somewhat nervous.

As a physician, I see how these therapies help people, but I have also noticed that doctors are never in the donor pool for blood or other human derived therapies. I thought it is finally time to "put-up or shut-up". The only doubt I had was how to incorporate the donation process into my daily job as a surgical chief resident. I had never donated bone marrow or stem cells and got a lot of information from Gift of Life. Based on the information, we decided that it would most likely not be feasible for me to donate bone marrow but I could take off the days necessary for the stem cell harvest.

Once the details were set, I had no doubts about proceeding with the donation. In fact, I am afraid that I don't even remember my donation dates (it was so easy, that I forgot!). The procedure itself was simple. I found the nurses at the donation center and Tracy from Gift of Life to be extremely helpful and friendly and I really had a pleasant experience. I watched The Godfather while the process was going on. The worst part of the whole ordeal was not being able to urinate for several hours while I was on the machine!!

I would certainly do it again if asked, and would hope that Gift of Life would be the intermediary as I found your group to be very organized, available, and willing to answer all of my endless, dumb questions! I have also really appreciated the follow-up that Tracy has given to me about the recipient's condition post-transplant. My friends and family have all been very supportive and enthusiastic about the process. I especially made a point of letting the other doctors and nurses in my hospital know about it, hoping that a few would join Gift of Life also. I encourage everyone to join the registry - a rare chance where anyone can potentially save a life.

Michal Levine

I joined the Gift of Life registry in September when I received an e-mail regarding a four-year old girl in Israel who was desperately seeking a bone marrow match. I had first heard of the Gift of Life Bone Marrow Foundation two years earlier from an information video at a blood drive in Israel. Though I did not know the details of the process, I knew that I would be willing to go through with a donation. I am very interested in science and medicine, and fortunately am not at all afraid of needles or other medical procedures. I was completely prepared to undergo minor discomfort and minimal risk to save a life. I do think it is important to think before joining a bone marrow registry. I wasn't deciding right then whether I would donate bone marrow, but simply ascertaining to the best of my ability whether it was something I realistically would do if I was a match. Otherwise I felt I would be offering false hope to a patient and causing unnecessary money to be spent on testing. I also realized that I didn't need to feel bad if I felt I could not become a donor. There are many other ways to participate in Gift of Life's mission to save lives, such as fundraising and running drives.

A donor drive was conveniently held in the lobby of one of the dorm buildings at Yeshiva University. When I arrived at the campus, I noticed that, at the time, there were no girls in the room. Volunteer YU students were running the drive and I felt very uncomfortable walking in. I tried to put things in perspective and when I considered that I would be embarrassed for a few moments yet I would potentially be saving someone else's whole life, I went inside. I was surprised at how easy the testing was. All I had to do was twirl a Q-tip in my cheek for a few seconds and I was done. In fact, I remember worrying that I had not gotten enough cells!

A few months passed and while I was disappointed I was not a match for that four-year old girl, gradually I forgot about Gift of Life. I was so surprised and excited when, on Friday April 23, I received a message from Gift of Life. I had the sense that an adventure was beginning and rushed to return the call. I was told that I was a possible match and was asked to go for confirmatory testing as soon as possible. I was given an overview of the donation process and told that if I turned out to be the best match for the patient, I would attend an information session where I would be given more detailed information and have any questions answered. In addition it was stressed that I was under no obligation to undergo confirmatory testing and even if I did undergo the testing, I was not committing myself to donate at that point. I did not hesitate to schedule my confirmatory testing for the following week. I was young and healthy, and willing to go through with the donation. Of course, since I was so young (19), I decided I should call my parents and ask them how they felt about it. My mother told me that I was old enough to make my own decisions but that she was fine with it if I was. The confirmatory testing was quick and easy and I was very impressed when a Gift of Life representative called me later that day to see how it went.

Two weeks later, on Friday May 7, I was extremely surprised to receive another call from Gift of Life. I had been told I would receive the results of my confirmatory testing in four to six weeks, yet this was only a week and a half later! I was elated to learn that I was a confirmed match. I'll admit I would have been very disappointed if the confirmatory testing came out negative, as the donation was something I really wanted to do. I learned that the recipient was in remission and, as his situation was unstable, they wanted to move ahead with the transplant quickly. My coordinator, Tracy explained to me in detail how the work-up would proceed and how the collection would be carried out. She gave me her home number as well as her cell-phone number so that if my family or I had any questions we could call her over the weekend. Tracy worked around my school schedule (it was finals week) and did her best to schedule my information session and physical exam at convenient times for me.

My mother began to get nervous about my donating blood stem cells. Gift of Life faxed her a complete information booklet and made themselves available to answer any questions. I don't think my mother would actually have stopped me from donating, however it was important to me, and to Gift of Life, that she be comfortable with it. After finding out more about the procedure, and speaking to various doctors as well as our rabbi, my mother no longer had any serious concerns. Additionally, owing to my young age, Gift of Life offered to fly a family member in to be with me during the collection.

From the moment I heard that I was truly a match, I felt different; I felt special. I told my friends and everyone I met what an incredible opportunity I was about to have. Ten days before my collection, I was very cognizant of the fact that my recipient was beginning extensive chemotherapy and radiation treatments to kill all of his own cells in preparation for receiving mine. I felt that I carried an additional responsibility to take care of myself as someone else's life now depended on mine. I was extraordinarily careful not to expose myself to any illnesses or unnecessary dangers. Five days before the collection I began receiving shots of Neupogen. The actual injection did sting and hurt more than I had anticipated. I experienced side effects such as bone and muscle pain (particularly in my lower back and legs), chest pain (muscular), headaches, insomnia, as well as nausea. However, having been previously warned of all these side effects, I was unconcerned.

My collection was done in New York at Cornell Hospital. Tracy and my grandmother flew in to be with me. I was extremely excited. At the hospital I was fascinated by how the aphaeresis machine worked and Sharon, the hospital's nurse, patiently answered all my questions throughout the whole procedure. Hooking me up to the machine proved to be somewhat difficult due to my uncooperative veins. Sharon was exceptionally experienced and kept trying; she was determined to do all in her power to avoid having to put in a central line. The collection took around six and a half hours. During that time my fingertips began to tingle due to the anticoagulant that is added to the blood, something I had been told to watch for, and two bags of calcium were dripped in. Tracy and Sharon were there the entire time monitoring me. Another patient was in the room getting her chemotherapy and seeing her served to remind me of the significance of what I was doing.

Following the collection, I felt very tired. My collection had been on Tuesday, I flew home on Wednesday, slept all day Thursday, and returned to work for half a day by Friday. I was still fatigued and nauseated, however the effects wore off by Tuesday, a week after my collection. Tracy called to check up on me every day until I was feeling completely better. The weekend following my collection, I was very surprised to receive a beautiful bouquet of flowers as well as a box of Godiva chocolates from Gift Of Life, a gift that was much appreciated though completely unnecessary.

Working with Gift of Life has been a truly wonderful experience. The amazing staff and Tracy in particular, worked endlessly to coordinate my donation and ensured that the whole process went as smoothly as possible. Between educating me, checking up on me and updating me, Tracy exhibited exceptional care, concern, understanding and expertise. The amount of time and effort that I put into the donation process pales in comparison to what Tracy and the other members of Gift of Life do every day. They truly deserve credit for what they do. They devote their lives to saving others and fill a unique niche in their efforts to increase the representation of the Jewish people in the bone marrow donor pool. After working with them these past few months, I am impressed and inspired by their dedication and by what they accomplish. I would like to do anything I can to help Gift of Life, whether speaking to other potential donors, running drives or serving as a courier.

I think it very important to educate people about the simple procedure of donating blood stem cells. When I mentioned to people that I was a match and planned to donate my cells, most people were impressed but seemed to react with concern. They seemed to think the procedure involved greater risk and was more invasive than it was. I think if more people knew how simple and relatively painless the procedure is, more people would be willing to register and serve as donors.

Overall this has been an extraordinary experience. I am truly filled with awe when I reflect on it. Any minor discomfort and pain was well worth it and I would do it again in an instant. I feel so fortunate to have had an opportunity to do this mitzvah and to make a difference in someone else's life. I hope that my recipient is doing well and getting stronger every day. I look forward to meeting him in a year. I am also looking forward to hopefully getting another call telling me I can have a part in saving someone else's life too.

Adam J. Lish, M.D.

I had volunteered to be in the Gift of Life Bone Marrow Registry when Barry Mishkin z'l was waiting for a life-saving match. I went to that recruitment drive knowing that I might be called upon to undergo a medical procedure with some risk and some discomfort. I certainly did not believe that I would actually get the call a year later that I was a match for someone else.

I am one of the privileged few. My tissue type matched an eight year old boy who was dying from a rare blood disease. My bone marrow could save his life. There were no other matches for this boy. I got the call from Gift of Life as my wife, Karen and I were getting the kids ready for Shabbos, prior to Pesach 2003. I was told that the boy was dying and he needed me to donate bone marrow if he had any hope of surviving.

The question posed to me was simple: Are you willing to undergo this procedure to save this little boy's life? I remember my first thought was that this could just as easily be one of my kids who needed someone else's father to help them. Without further thought I said yes. I went back to the kids, but did not tell Karen for about an hour. During that hour I was mulling over how to discuss this. Shouldn't it really be a family decision as there was some risk involved- anesthesia, pain, and some soreness? Karen's first reaction was the same as mine. "Yes, you have to do this."

The next few weeks unfolded with confirmatory blood work, medical screening to be sure that I was healthy, and then waiting. I knew that someplace in the world (the boy's identity and location were kept secret until he and I met a year and three months later) a little boy's bone marrow and immune system were being destroyed with chemotherapy in preparation for receiving my healthy marrow which was to be harvested just before Memorial Day 2003. Most donors have their blood filtered in a process similar to kidney dialysis. Due to this boy's age and disease, my donation would involve undergoing a procedure to surgically withdraw 750cc of liquid bone marrow from my two pelvic bones with large bore needles.

On my way to New York Hospital, I kept thinking that the risk of being a passenger in a car was probably greater than that of the epidural anesthesia and the collection procedure. The epidural needle did hurt, but the procedure was a blur from the IV sedation. I remember my teeth chattering and feeling cold as the IV took effect. The next thing I remember, I was in the recovery room talking to my father and the nurse who was checking my blood count.

My back hurt. It was stiff, and that nagging sciatica seemed to be back. As I began to move around the chair in recovery, I realized that I was alright. Sore, but alright. The marrow was being prepared so that it could quickly be taken to the little boy who would receive it the next day. I felt very proud of myself. As my wife will attest, I don't do well with pain, but here I was after the surgery sipping apple juice, dealing with it, and a little boy was going to have the chance to live. A little boy who was almost the same age as my kids. Now, he might be able to go to school and play and grow-up and be with his family. All I had to do was have a sore back.

The boy received my marrow the next day. By day three after the procedure, I was walking slowly and driving my kids to a birthday party. I was back to work by day five. My lower back felt like I had fallen on the ice, but it was getting better with nothing but movement and the occasional Motrin. I tried to convince my wife that my epidural anesthesia gave me a glimpse of her experience with childbirth- she still laughs at the mere mention of this.

I was not given any information about the child's condition for the first three months, and kept referring to him as "the little boy" when I would include him in my davening. After three months, Gift of Life gave me the first update. He was doing well. His body accepted the marrow and he was gaining strength. He was expected to recover, but it would take time. The first year after marrow transplant is critical. After about six months, I received a letter from the boy's parents (the names and address were cut-out in order to preserve anonymity). The letter thanked me and told me that he was able to throw out the first pitch at a local little league game. My first thought was B'H he is getting better and can throw a ball just like my kids. His parents can have the joy that we feel when we see our kids doing something so simple.

The little boy's name is Brian. He did very well and he is cured. As it turns out, our birthdays are only two days apart. Since he and I met at an event sponsored by Gift of Life at Shea Stadium, people are now more aware of the need for Jews to join the registry and be willing to donate marrow. It is not enough to send donations, as dollars cannot fill blood vessels with healthy cells.

We all have children and friends who need our help now or may need us in the future. There may be a stranger somewhere in the world who needs someone uniquely able to donate cells. The world is a lot smaller than we realize. Please be sure to join the registry.

Adam is an Ophthalmologist. He lives in Woodmere, NY with his wife Karen and his children Samantha and Justin. To read about the event where Adam and Brian met, click here

Hillel Salamon

I originally joined Gift of Life's registry when I attended a large donor drive in Williamsburg, Brooklyn in 2001. The decision to get tested was simple; someone was in danger and I had to try to help. I felt that it was an important Jewish thing to do.

When I got that initial phone call telling me that I was a match, I was very excited! Saving a life is a great mitzvah. I consulted my Grand Rabbi, Harov Yakov Yecheskia Grunwald, the leader of the Pupa Community, and he encouraged me to go through with the donation. I also had the opportunity to speak with other donors who had previously given bone marrow or blood stem cells with Gift of Life, and they all assured me that the collections were easy and that they had good experiences. After doing the research and several long phone calls with Tracy, Sarah, and other helpful staff members at Gift of Life, I had no doubts about proceeding.

On the day of my donation, I was excited and felt that I was truly doing something great. I was well prepared for the peripheral blood stem cell collection and knew exactly what to expect. If I was asked to donate again, I would certainly do it without question. I would also encourage others to get involved with Gift of Life. It is such an important thing to do!

When I think about the impact I have had on someone else's life, it makes me feel so proud. Even now, when I get the occasional email or phone call from Gift of Life I get so excited! I am grateful to Gift of Life for giving me the opportunity to try to save a life and I think about my recipient all the time. I wonder, could he be my next door neighbor, or is he somewhere half way around the world?